Gurkhas in The Mist part five – Commando Country

John Archibald’s adventure across the Scottish Highlands continues as he and the Gurkhas face their deadliest foe, head on. Or rather midge-net on.

Posted by Elderjuice on August 9, 2012. Filed under Writers. Posted with the tags:Gurkhas, John Archibald
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Gurkhas in The Mist part five – Commando Country

George and Ray Lee present a cheque to Capt Rajen Gurung by their home on the shores of Loch Arkaig

John Archibald’s adventure across the Scottish Highlands continues as he and the Gurkhas face their deadliest foe, head on. Or rather midge-net on.

Commando Country
It is the unexpected things in life that invariably give the most pleasure. The last thing you might expect when walking down a deserted road in the Scottish Highlands is to come across a lady fromEngland,Southamptonto be precise, standing outside a cottage playing the bagpipes. Ray Lee and her husband George had been teachers inLiverpool but had been coming to Lochaber with their children for 40 years for walking, biking and fishing holidays. When the opportunity to buy Murlaggan cottage came up they jumped at the chance and settled into their rural idyll near the head of Loch Arkaig, there to commune with nature and learn theHighlandbagpipes. The boys probably thought this was pretty normal! Anyway, George was despatched into the cottage to get his cheque book while Ray at the request of the Gurkhas played a pretty fair rendition of Highland Cathedral. The sunshine (yes, the sun was shining) and the amazing backdrop of the ‘Rough Bounds’ overlooking the head of the loch made for a magical experience. The boys wanted to know which football team,Liverpoolor Everton, George and Ray had supported during their time in that great city. ‘Manchester United’ came the reply, a shared enemy to bothLiverpooland Everton supporters and the lesser of three evils given the potential for a classroom riot. The cheque was signed and handed over, hands were shaken, good luck was wished on all and onwards we padded, tickled pink by the whole experience.

We hadn’t gone too far when Lal had to stop for repairs to his feet. I was shocked when he took his boots off. They were covered in zinc oxide tape, blisters plasters and yet more exposed blisters. I knew that, apart from knee strains, preventing blisters was probably the number one priority if we were all to make it to the finish line at Stonehaven. I had therefore made sure that we all had good quality liner socks and thick trekking socks. Provided all the boots fitted, which deep down I doubted, we should be OK. I would have expected Lal, a true hill Gurkha, to have feet like leather, but there was something clearly amiss here. Even two layers of top quality socks wasn’t working. Having developed blisters the previous day he had decided to wear his trainers for the second day’s walk, 24 miles along the metalled road that snaked its way along the northshoreofLoch Arkaig. Despite this his feet were still a mess. I applied blister plasters for the small blisters between his toes and zinc oxide tape to the larger blisters on the underside of his feet. This was to be the first of many such stops over the next seven days. Lal now decided against wearing the woollen socks that I had so carefully selected and reverted to the cheap cotton sports socks he would normally wear with his service issue boots in-barracks as he felt perhaps the wool was to blame. I suspect his boots on day one just didn’t fit properly and his trainers either did not fit or were just not up to such an arduous challenge, probably both. Either way Lal struggled at times and the expression of pain he wore for days on end, when he wasn’t smiling like a beacon, made me wonder just how he managed to keep going. The man was obviously as hard as nails. His resilience, physical presence, good humour and ready laugh marked him out as someone you would definitely want on your team when the bullets started flying.

As you would expect the conversation got round to army kit. Cpl Dugendra showed me his Army issue boots that he was wearing. The soles were thin and one heel had stared to come away. The boys hooted with laughter, but Dugendra, a delightful, mild mannered and deferential man, was clearly incensed.

“These boots are rubbish, saheb. They (the MOD) let out the supply of kit to the lowest bidders, so we don’t get boots that are capable of doing the job; we get the cheapest boots the supplier can get away with so they can make a profit”.

The others nodded gravely.

“Most of the boys buy their own boots when they go toIraqorAfghanistansaheb”.

I was stunned, ashamed and angry.

“It’s the same with the food, saheb. In the old days we had our own cook staff, so there was plenty to eat, it was good quality and there was a good selection. But everything is contracted out now. It’s pay as you go, there is less choice, smaller portions, poorer quality. Only the first packet of salt is free. Same with the squash – you have to pay if you want a second glass. The boys aren’t happy saheb”.

I felt my anger rising. There had been much said in the media about how poorly equipped our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan were, with inadequate body armour, combat vehicles and helicopters, how service family accommodation was dilapidated, and how pay levels were beneath that of postmen and bus conductors … the list goes on. So much for the much vaunted Military Covenant. Here was proof at the most basic level, if further proof was needed, that our Government and the MOD have lost the plot and are failing in their basic duty of care to both the Gurkhas and British soldiers. These men, and women, are putting their lives on the line, day in day out, in the cause of duty and yet our elected leaders and their non-elected, tawdry lickspittles strive at every opportunity to save a pound here, a few pence there as far as they can get away with. It is criminal and should be a key issue at the next election.

The morning had worn on and the sun had slipped behind grey clouds. The softer light and absence of wind meant one thing – midges. There are nearly 40 species of biting midge in Scotlandbut only five of these are thought to regularly feed on people. Of these the Highlandmidge, Culicoides impunctatus, is the most bloodthirsty, and the species responsible for most of the misery inflicted on people. Midges occur more in the north and west ofScotland than in the south or the east, but with climate change they are increasing their range (they are now also found in other parts of theUK, including theLake District andNorth Wales) and extending their season, meaning more bites.

It is the female midge that bites (now, why am I not surprised by that fact?). She can only lay her eggs after she has had a blood meal; which is where you and I come in. Midges start to become a problem in June and usually last through to August when their numbers diminish rapidly, before they finally disappear with the first real frost of autumn. The numbers of midges vary considerably from year to year, depending on the severity of the preceding winter, the amount of spring rainfall, and the temperature. The website www.midgealert.com carries real time midge alerts for the entire country.

To avoid midges, it helps to know a little about their likes and dislikes. They like the cool indirect light of dawn and dusk, and dislike direct strong sunlight. They like damp conditions and dislike dry conditions. And they like still air and dislike anything above a fairly gentle breeze. All this tends to mean that midges are less common in the middle of the day than in the mornings and evenings; that they are rarer on exposed hills than in sheltered valleys; and that they can be fond of woodland and forest areas. Finally, it is worth knowing that midges prefer dark coloured clothing to light.

There are many midge repellents available on the market. Most common are a range of different brands containing varying concentrations of either DEET (di-ethyl toluamide) or DMP (dimethyl phthalate). These are invariably less than totally effective as it is very difficult to completely cover all exposed areas, including your scalp, they smell disgusting and leave your skin feeling sticky, they easily wash off in the rain and sweat of a good day in the hills, and when repellent-soaked sweat from your brow gets in your eyes to be rubbed with repellent covered fingers, well, good luck to you. A range of more natural (but usually less effective) alternatives are available including citronella and eucalyptus oils. The locals and many outdoor types swear by the midge-repellent effects of Avon’s Skin So Soft Body Oil, probably because it carries with it none of the miserable side-effects noted above. Contrary to common belief however Skin So Soft does not repel midges; what it appears to do is stop them biting you. It is not widely available in retail outlets other than in the highlands of Scotland, but enter any emporium north and west of Perth and you will see a stack of the stuff on sale at a price only those once-bitten would countenance. I envisaged some bean counter in anAvonoffice somewhere in the States scratching his bean counter’s head and wondering why gross margins inScotlandwere thrice the global average.

And when all else fails there is the midge net, worn in a rather enticing manner over the head, and preferably head wear to keep it away from your face, and tied under the arms. You will also find midge nets on sale in highland emporiums and also at exorbitant prices. I had bought one each for the Gurkhas at the outdoor shop inEdinburghwhere we had bought their boots. When they got home, excited to try on their new gear and Gurkha Highlander team kit, puzzled expressions greeted the sight of these small net hoods.

“You put them over your heads. It’s to keep the midges away”.

The Gurkhas replied with polite, yet grave, nods of understanding. They obviously didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Not to worry, I thought, they soon will.

To those of you who have never experienced what it is like to be stranded without escape among a swarm of midges, let me say that you have missed out on one of life’s formative experiences, to rank alongside being attacked by a Great White shark, an Australian salt water crocodile or a twenty foot long anaconda. To have a squillion of the tiny, voracious, itch-making piranhas crawling all over your scalp, face, arms, hands and legs intent on a good munch before launching into a frenzy of sexual abandon is to know a living hell like no other.

John Archibald served with the Queen’s Gurkha Engineers in Hong Kong from 1974 to 1977. He now lives in Edinburgh and when not working or writing he daydreams of fishing and hillwalking, preferably followed by Thai food and a fine bottle of wine. His first book Gurkhas in the Mist can be purchased as an ebook at amazon.co.uk or smashwords.com.

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